Fisher, Roger & Ury, William & Patton, Bruce.Active Listening: Seven Ways to Help Students Listen, Not Just Hear. Reflection Question: Do you find yourself particularly adept or strong in practicing any of the specific attending and/or reflecting listening skills? If so, how have you been able to develop and practice those skills? If not, what specific kinds of attending or reflecting skills do you think you could improve? In general, reflective listening is useful in conducting any difficult conversation with another.” (Katz & McNulty, 1) Directions can be clarified by listening. Leading group discussions/conversations requires effective listening as well. Listening is also important for handling resistance or anger in others. In social situations listening can create a climate of warmth between people. Also, the communication skills of problem solving, assertion, conflict management, and negotiation all require the extensive listening. You can use listening to help when another person is experiencing a difficulty or problem. “Reflective listening is useful in a variety of situations. In it they outline two kinds of listening skills – attending skills and reflecting skills. Read this short piece, Reflective Listening, by Neil Katz and Kevin McNulty. And when we are concerned with resolving conflict, staying in tune with the emotions and feelings of those with whom we are working, and creating a peaceable learning environment, listening skills are paramount. Just as there are methods and techniques to make us more effective speakers, so to exist methods and techniques that can make us more effective listeners. This could not be further from the truth. However, how much time is actually spent teaching learners how to listen? Its sometimes assumed that listening is a skill that everyone possesses and consciously develops. Communication, especially when it comes to conflict resolution is a two way street involving both speaking and listening.Įducational systems certainly spend a lot of time teaching learners how to speak – how to stand at a podium or walk around the stage, how to pronounce your words and pace your sentences, how to move your hands and body when making certain points, how to deliver a convincing argument, rebut counter-arguments and win a debate – all of which are important skills in many facets of life. This will also allow a therapist to make sure he or she is understanding the client.Resolving conflict involves not only having the vocabulary and the skills to effectively communicate one’s emotions, it also requires that someone is listening to those words and interpreting them in accurate ways. Alternately, a client may feel misunderstood and then try again to explain what he or she is thinking or feeling. She's always telling me what to do and won't let me do anything I want to do." The therapist who uses reflective listening might respond by saying, "So you feel frustrated because you're mother treats you like a child instead of an adult." This will allow the client to feel understood and open up even more about his or her feelings about being a teenager. For example, a client may make a statement like, "My mother is such a jerk. By explaining that he or she understands what the client is saying, a therapist is establishing a trust and clarifying the client's expression. What a therapist attempts to do is reconstruct what the client is thinking and feeling and to relay this understanding back to the client. Empathic understanding means understanding a person from his or her frame of reference. Rogers wrote about reflection of attitudes, which asserts that a therapist needs to have empathic understanding with his/her client. This was unlike psychoanalysis, which had more formula-like approaches that were used for all patients. Rogers believed that by listening intently to the client, a therapist could determine best what the client needed. The term stems from work done by psychologist Carl Rogers who developed client-centered therapy. Reflective listening practices requires focus, intent, and very active participation. Very often in Western culture, listening is considered to be the passive part of a conversation while speaking is seen as active. Listening practice used by psychotherapists that requires focus, intent, and very active participation.
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